The Universe....Everything That Exists Somewhere

Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come. Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered. Aadmi shaadi kyon karta hai? Takee vo marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye to achcha feel kare aur agar Nark jaye to homely feel kare... Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ? To tell each other affectionately. .. Sweetheart U R Dead! There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

What If Titanic sank Today? Reaction from different countries: U.S.A: "A ship coming to Freedom was attacked by terrorists. We will not sit quiet and we will teach them a lesson. Bin Laden you can run but you cannot hide we will find you and destroy your Al-Qaeda network." (President Bush........whoelse?) U.K: "I have spoken to the President of United States and we have both agreed that the sinking of Titanic is significant prove that Saddam Hussein is clearly behind this attack, Iraq is imposing a threat to the world and this has to be dealt with." (Prime Minister Blair) Iraq: "LOL!!!" (President Saddam Hussain) Israel: "These Hamas and other terrorist network is enough evidence to say that sinking of Titanic is not an accident but it was their suicide bombers who have commited such a crime.We will now impose curfew on the Palestinians, detain them, exile them, kill them, starve them, destroy their homes and refugee camps." (Ariel Sharon....bast...

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to His HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying. My friend, you have not worked here for even one day. The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain. Manager:- How many days are there in a year? Man:- 365 days and some times 366 Manager:- how many hours make up a day? Man:- 24 hours Manager:- How long do you work in a day? Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day. Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours? Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third) Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days? Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days) Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends? Man:- No sir Ma...

Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death. He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL. Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment? He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived notions. Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test. PVNR is asked to spell " INDIA " and he does it correctly. Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes. It is Laloo's turn and he is asked ...

One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from TCS, went out for a walk. "Why don't we prove who is the best among ourselves?" Why not, said the other two. The Infosian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh, works for the best firm". Being a pure logical strategist, the person from TCS tried to make the monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still. As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny gestures... No good, the monkey stayed put... Now, comes the Infosian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to be, he whispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out laughing at him .. The other two were astonished. So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take another test. Let's make this monkey cry!!" So there they went again, applying the same methods as before. The TCS guy narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, and they failed again... The...

You know You are from Kathmandu when.... You’re born in Nepal! You’re in our KTM! You can sing this song… ” super top, ma hun super top… ma luga lai seto paarchu…” If somebody touches your neck, u need to blow air in their hand (fuu fuu)… You shake your head to say yes or ok. Your are asked, “hatti baliyo ki hatti chap chapal”, you reply, you say “ustai ustai ho”. You watch english and hindi movies more than nepali movies. Boys court girls from the street. Todays rice is tomorrows fried rice. You have time to speak,but you dont have time to listen. You’re at least a lil anti indian from your heart. You chichyai chichyai boling on the phone. You pronounce ‘YUM’ for ‘M’. You point with your lips. You get annoyed when people think you are from Naples. Whenever you meet someone you ask, ” Have you had your food?” ( bhat khayao?) You meet someone in a movie hall and ask, ” Have you come to watch a movie?” ( cinema herna ayeko?) You laugh at everything...

Company Rules And Regulations.… Very Funny…. Must Read.... Dress Code It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better,so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise. Sick Days We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Personal Days Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday. Toilet Use Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of the three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, t...