Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands
before the fight begins!
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
Aadmi shaadi kyon karta hai?
Takee vo marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye to achcha feel kare
aur agar Nark jaye to homely feel kare...
Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?
To tell each other affectionately. ..
Sweetheart U R Dead!
There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
All about MARRIAGE without any prejudice
What If Titanic sank Today?
What If Titanic sank Today?
Reaction from different countries:
U.S.A:
"A ship coming to Freedom was attacked by terrorists.
We will not sit quiet and we will teach them a lesson.
Bin Laden you can run but you cannot hide we will find
you and destroy your Al-Qaeda network."
(President Bush........whoelse?)
U.K:
"I have spoken to the President of United States and
we have both agreed that the sinking of Titanic is
significant prove that Saddam Hussein is clearly
behind this attack, Iraq is imposing a threat to the
world and this has to be dealt with."
(Prime Minister Blair)
Iraq:
"LOL!!!" (President Saddam Hussain)
Israel:
"These Hamas and other terrorist network is enough
evidence to say that sinking of Titanic is not an
accident but it was their suicide bombers who have
commited such a crime.We will now impose curfew on the
Palestinians, detain them, exile them, kill them,
starve them, destroy their homes and refugee camps."
(Ariel Sharon....bastard)
Canada:
"Titanic who?" (Canadian Prime Minister)
India:
"Is mein Pakistan ka haath hai. We have received
passports of Pakistani extremists from the Titanic
debris. Pakistanis will have to pay for such
horrendous act of terrorism. We are now deploying more
soldiers to the border."
(Prime Minister Vajpayee)
Pakistan:
"Sind may Double Sawari per ghair muayyana muddat ke
liye pabandi"
(President Musharraf)
UN:
"Shit happens right??"
(Sec.Gen. Kofi Annan)
Survivors:
"Uhh. Helllooo. Is anyone listening...it was an iceberg..hellloooooo."
Never go to HR for help
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to His HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying. My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
Have a Nice Day.
HR = HIGH RISK
Read a nice Moral of the Day
Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were
travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three
of them died.
Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.
He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN.
But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to
HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision.
He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the
three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all
misused public positions, etc.
Then why the differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation
before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or
pre-conceived notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an
English test.
PVNR is asked to spell " INDIA " and he does it correctly.
Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes.
It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ".
Laloo protests that he doesn't know English.
He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and
thus forced to fail with false intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another
chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi wou ld
provide an equal platform for all three).
PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily an
passes.
Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.
Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....."
Tough one. He fails again.
Laloo is extremely unhappy.
Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now
requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in hist ory
Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not
take any more tests.
PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence ?" He replied "1947"
and passed.
Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence
struggle?"
He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or
200,000 or 300,000.
Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
It's Laloo's turn now.
'
Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who
died in the struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.
Moral of the story
IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE
IS NO ESCAPE
Who is Best : Infosys, Wipro or TCS?
One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from
TCS, went out for a walk.
"Why don't we prove who is the best among ourselves?"
Why not, said the other two.
The Infosian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh,
works for the best firm".
Being a pure logical strategist, the person from TCS tried to make the
monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still.
As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny
gestures... No good, the monkey stayed put...
Now, comes the Infosian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to
be, he whispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out
laughing at him ..
The other two were astonished. So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take
another test. Let's make this monkey cry!!"
So there they went again, applying the same methods as before. The TCS guy
narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, and they failed
again...
Then, the Infosian again whispered something into the monkey's ear and oh!
It started crying, patting the Infosian's shoulder!
The other two just could not believe their eyes! So the tcs guy said "OK,
you've won twice. If you can win just this one, we will bow to you. Let's
make this monkey run".
and he barked at the monkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed
where it was.. The Wipro guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the
monkey- still No go.
So...here comes Infosian, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. The
Monkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if it was
scared to death!
The other two surrendered.
They Said: "OK, we give up.
You're the best among us, and you work for the Best firm of the three. But
Please, please tell us your secret," they begged him.
"Well", said the Infosian, "The first time I made it laugh, I told I work
for Infosys. The next time, I told the monkey how much I get paid ...so it
started crying.
And then I told that I was here for recruitment! !!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
You know You are from Kathmandu when....
You know You are from Kathmandu when....
You’re born in Nepal!
You’re in our KTM!
You can sing this song… ” super top, ma hun super top… ma luga lai seto paarchu…”
If somebody touches your neck, u need to blow air in their hand (fuu fuu)…
You shake your head to say yes or ok.
Your are asked, “hatti baliyo ki hatti chap chapal”, you reply, you say “ustai ustai ho”.
You watch english and hindi movies more than nepali movies.
Boys court girls from the street.
Todays rice is tomorrows fried rice.
You have time to speak,but you dont have time to listen.
You’re at least a lil anti indian from your heart.
You chichyai chichyai boling on the phone.
You pronounce ‘YUM’ for ‘M’.
You point with your lips.
You get annoyed when people think you are from Naples.
Whenever you meet someone you ask, ” Have you had your food?” ( bhat khayao?)
You meet someone in a movie hall and ask, ” Have you come to watch a movie?” ( cinema herna ayeko?)
You laugh at everything on Nepali TV but you still watch it.
Covering your nose everytime you pass through the bridge becomes a reflex.
Your conversation with any Nepali you just met always ends up being an interview to unearth the degree of association with this person. (eh…Ghar ka?? Lazimpat? Tyeso bhaye timile xyz lai chinchhau??)
You are crossing a one way street and you have to check both sides.
Your relatives give you money whenever you visit them.
You call anyone rajesh hamal if he has a long back-hair.
You go out for lunch/ dinner/ whatever in a group and look at the menu for half an hour and order the following:
1. momo
2. chilli chips
3. fried rice
4. chicken chilli
You think of titaura and your saliva glands go wild !!
You miss wai wai, rara and titaura and churpi…
You are good at drunk driving, especially on motorcycles…
Using a spoon becomes awkward!
You are afraid to step on any paper, or pen (You don’t want to piss off Saraswati and flunk an exam).
Your White Friends Ask If you’ve Climbed Mount Everest!
You can bribe anyone even the Cops.
You know ganja is REALLY cheap!
You translate rap songs into nepali as a pass time hobby. example “mero hapsis nachdain, khali pant mathi sarchan. ani dhunga tadha, dhunga tadha.
you accidently ask for an e-sprite and an e-snickers bar
you’re in Kathmandu, you find Mo:mo shops every other block… yumm..
u finally think uve perfected yor bargaining skills, but come bak ripped off…
You are used to cows sitting down in the middle of the road during a traffic jam.
You wonder why the Maoists are being so quiet these days, & then you realize that you aren’t in kathmandu
You know that mango fruity is FRESH AND JUICY!!
Chiya is even better if you put cheura in it
Dogs barking don’t stop you sleeping…
Boiling and filtering and boiling water again is part of everyday life…
Your initial instinct on a sunny day is to stay in the shade…
Winter only lasts three months…
Most if not all houses have balconies…
You know that fire and ice is the best pizza place ever
Sitting on the front seat of a taxi feels like you’re in a video game
Friday, August 22, 2008
Company Rules And Regulations.… Very Funny…. Must Read....
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better,so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called
Saturday and Sunday.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls.
At the end of the three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.
After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category".
Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy!
You are allowed to use the rest room only thrice a day and you have to swipe in and out from the toilet doors also.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a slim fast.
Mails
Don't read junk and forwarded mails.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company.
We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
All questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations,Contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Famous Movie Quotes & Dialogues - I
For very long time, I was thinking to write a post on Famous Movie Quotes And Famous hindi Movies romantic dialogues. Finally, here are some of my favorite Bollywood Movie Dialogues. Enjoy these Popular movie quotes and if you hve not found your favorite one, then feel free to submit it.
- "Bade bade desho mein aisi chhoti chhoti baatein hoti rehti hein." This is much famous dialogue of shahrukh khan from movie "Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge". This is my one of the favorite dialogue.
- "I can talk in english, i can walk in english, i can laugh in english. Because english is very funny language." This famous funny dialogue is spoken by Evergreen Super Star Mr. Amitabh Bachhan in movie Namak Halal.
- “Don ka intzaar to gyarah mulko ki police kar rahi hai Sonia, Lekin itna jan lo ki DON ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi, na mumkin hai." This jaandar Dialogue is spoken by Mr.Amitabh Bachhan in Movie DON and repeated by Shahrukh in
Movie DON 2.
- "Mohabbat bhi zindagi ki tarah hoti hai, har mod aasan nahi hota, har mod par khushi nahi milti.... Par jab hum zindagi ka saath nahi chodte to hum mohabbat ka saath kyon chhode." So ramantic naa. Any guesses about the name of the movie this dialogue taken from....guess.....................................yes, you are right. It is from movie Mohabbatein. I thinks this is the movie full of Romantic Dialogues.
- "Tum soch rahi hogi ki main yeh rece kyo haar gaya. Main yeh race tumhare liye har gaya. Tumhi ne kaha tha ne ki mere dad ke saamne ye iki, riki, piki sab fail ho jaate hai. Kabhi-kabhi kuch jitne ke liye kuch haarna padta hai Aur haar kar jitne wale ko Baazigar kehte hai." Have you remembered this dialogue. Sahi pehchana, you are right boss. This quote is from Action Thriller Bazzigar.
- AMRISH PURI who is not any more with us. I like his voice very much. He has got very DAMDAAR AWAAZ. "Mogambo khush hua -" This is his famous dialogue from movie Mr. INDIA.
- AAJ ....aaj ek zindagi aur jeelo .aaj ek hasin aur baathlo, aaj ek sapna aur dekhlo , aaj ek aason aur peelo, aaj ek dua aur maanglo ... AAJ ...kya pata....... kal ho na ho " This quote is one of my favorite. It makes me feel that I should live every moment of life.This quotes is from movie Kal Ho Na Ho. It inspires me a lot. This is one of My favroute movie.
- "Yeh bacchhon ke khelne ki cheez nahi, haath kat jaaye toh khoon nikal aata hai." This DHAASU 'N' JAANDAR dialogue is from movie Waqt which is directed by YASH CHOPRA.
Monday, August 11, 2008
File & Folders
SAVE THE FILE or FOLDERS WITH NO NAME
Don't Want A Folder To Have Name? Here Is The Trick....
If you do not want a folder to have a name
then Right click on the folder and on rename
while renaming press alt + 0160 (or the numbers of Your choice)
the numbers should be pressed from the numpad
Friday, August 1, 2008
Aam Hain Kya?
Aam Hain Kya....?
A parrot goes to a shopkeeper and asks ... 'Aam hai kya?'
The shopkeeper says... 'Nahi. Hum Aam nahi bechate.'
.
.
.
Next day at the same time, the parrot goes again and asks him... 'Aam
hai kya?'
He gets a little irritated and says... 'Aare Bola na, Hum Aam nahi
Bechate'
.
.
.
On the third day, the parrot goes again and asks him 'Aam hai kya?'
He gets wild and yells ... 'Bola na nahin. Abhi waapas aaya to hathoda
maaroonga sar ke oopar'
.
.
.
The next day, the parrot comes again and asks him...'hathoda hai kya?'
The shopkeeper says... 'Nahi'
The parrot then asks ... 'Aam hain kya?
Pappu Cant Code Saala : Funny Version....
Pappu Cant Code Saala....
[Kit kit kat kat, kat kit kat kat, Kit kit kat kat, Let's code] 2
Hai bachelor (hai bachelor), Has lotsa dollar (lotsa dollar)...
Hai bachelor, has lotsa dollar...
Spectacular! He's a developer (he's a developer, he's a developer)...
Pappu ka dimaag tez hai, Pappu ko breaks ka craze hai...
Pappu ka chashma thick black, Pappu dikhta geek hai (geek hai)...
Swatch ki ghadi hathon mein, Gale mein tag company wala...
[Par Pappu can't code saala] 2
Han Pappu code likh nahi sakta!
Paida Pappu hua to outsourcing aa thamki...
Angrezon ke muh se nikhli gandhe gaaliyon ki dhamki...
(hey array array) Pappu karta hey cut copy paste...
(hey array array) Tester logon ka time karta hey waste...
(hey array array) Pappu manager logon ka yaar hai...
(hey array array) Pappu beer peene mein toh star hai...
[But Pappu can't code saala] 2
Haan Pappu code likh nahi sakta!
Papa kehte the bada kaam karega...
Nahi patha tha Pappu bus maska marega...
(hey array array) Pappu ke paas hai MBA...
(hey array array) Manata hai onsite jaise ho holiday...
(hey array array) Pappu keyboard bajata hai...
(hey array array) Jahaan bhi jata hai, wapus aa jata hai...
[Cos Pappu can't code saala] 2
Haan Pappu code likh nahi sakta...
Yeah...Pappu can't code saala...!!!
Om Shanti Om
Filmy Examz....OSO Style....
Om shanti Om ka dialogue Students ke andaaz mein ...
Itni shiddat se maine paas hone ki koshish ki hai,,,,,
ki har teacher ne mujhe marks na dene ki saazish ki hai,,,,,
Agar tum kisi paper mein paas hona chahte ho,,,
to saari kaaynat tumhe usko paas karane me lag jati hai,,,,,,
Ye exams bhi apne hindi filmon ki tarah hote hain,,,,,
end tak sab kuch achha ho hi jata hai-HAPPYYYYS ENDINGGGGS......
aur agar aisa nahi hota,,,,,
toh exam abhi khatam nahi hua,
.
.
.
.
SUPPLEMENTARY abhi baaki hai mere dost................ ha ha ha.
"35 marks ki kimat,
tum kya jaano lecturer babu.....
35 marks har student ka khwaab hota hai.....
35 marks har year ke student k sir ka taaj hota hai...
SPAM MAILS
JUNK Mail Conversation b/w Krishna & Arjuna of Mahabharata
Krishna: Apne se badon ke email ka aadar samman karna seekho, Arjun
Arjun: Main apne hi kul ke aadarniya logon ko junk email kaise bhej
sakta hoon, Vasudev ?
Krishna : Is samay yeh tumhare mitra ya shatru nahi hain paarth. Vey keval pratidvandvi hain. Islike kshatriya dharm ka paalan karo. Login karo our bhejo junk mail by the dozen - yahi tumhara kartavya hai or yahee tumhara dharma hai.
Arjun : Hai muraree ise dekh ker to lagat hai mein software industry hee chod doon.
Krishna : Vats tum mohmaya mein fans gaye hai. Is jagat mein na koi tumhara hai, na tum kisi ke ho. Ye sabhee junk mail mein hee bhejta hoon, tum to ek nimitt matra ho. tum se pahle bhee ye junk mail thee or tumhare baad bhee rahegee. Is mohmaya se ooper utho, karm karo. De-danadan junk mail bhejo.
Arjun : Kintu, iska parinam kya hoga, hey Devaki nandan ?!
Krishna : Vijay ya parajay tumhare vash mein nahi hai. Issliye parinam ke bare mien sochna band kar do. Tumhe Guru Dronacharya ne junk-shastra ki siksha dei hai (EECS101). Use nasht mat hone do... jab bhi sensible stuff increase ho jaata hai, prithvi mein mera AOL account khulta hai. Aur main karodon junk mail bhej kar sabko pareshan kar deta hoon.
Arjun : Hey Keshav, Junk mail ka system se kya connection hai ?
Krishna : Junk mail junk mail hi hai, iska hardware se koi naata nahin. Jis tarah se aatma ek sharir ko chod kar doosre mein pravesh karti hai,usi tarah se junk mail bhi system to system travel karta hai.
Arjun : Junk mail ki paribhasha kya hai ?
Krishna : Isse na agni jala sakti hai, na varun bhiga sakti hai, na hi yeh jeeta ja sakta hai na hi haara ja sakta hai. Isse bhejne wale ka swayam Mahadev bhi kuch nahi bigad sakte hain.Junk mail amar hai.
Arjun : Hey Narayan ! Abhi mere saare fande clear ho gaye hain. Yashodanandan aapne meree aankhe khol dee, nahin to mein is mohmaya mein pad ker saree junk mail khud hee padh leta.
And Arjun needless to say, sends a hoard of junk mails, killing everyone..
Computer Conversation
Tapori Computer Language Conversation
CHOTA DRIVE and UPS DADA are two gundas of their places but chota drive thinks that he's a bigger "gunda" then UPS dada so he decides to fire some words to him. Both like to conversate using a very different and very familiar language....
CHOTA DRIVE: abey UPS.....
abey oo...apun ka mail notification nahi mil raha kya....
abey....kyon be tere woofer mein apna voice mail nahi bajrela kya..
UPS DADA: abey sale pen drive is aulad....tu apne ko is mohalle ka microsoft samajhta hai kya....jyada spamming mat kar mere samne.....or apni pen drive nikal mere USB port se......samjha kya.....CLICK DABAKE
CHOTA DRIVE: abey mere pass to pen drive hai par tere pas to woh bhi nahi hai.......hahaha...apne LCD ki screen saaf kar aur dekh tere samne kaun khada hai....
UPS DADA: abe sale......pata nahi startup mein desktop mein kiska wallpaper dekh liya tha jo tere jaise Trojan se pala pada hai......jyada mere processor ka use mat kar.....aur jaldi se yahan se patli gali se logoff hoja.......nahi to mere antiviruses tere repair kar dalenge......CLICK DABAKE
CHOTA DRIVE: abey teri motherboard ka......tu janta nahi hai yahan jitne bhi mawali user log hain na....apun in sabka master user hai.....samjha kya...
UPS DADA: abey tu user kya sale guest user bhi banne layak nahi hai.....agar main vista ultimate hoon na to..tu to sale windows 98 bhi nahi hai........pata hai user log (telling to his own tapori members)...yeh sala ek bar kisi ka system hack karne gaya tha, baad mein pata chala ki iska khud ka processor ki speed hi kum hai.....hahaha....CLICK DABAKE
CHOTA DRIVE: aye apun ko teri downloading pasand aareli hai.....tu janta hai sale apun hai CHOTA DRIVE par hai HARD DRIVE se bhi jyada dangerous kya....apun ko 12 local servers ke users google search rele hain par CHOTA DRIVE ko find karna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai......isliye tere ko bolta hoon apne sath tere files share karle.....tera bhi fayda hojayega..
UPS DADA: abey shareware kahin ke...........openoffice type ke ghatiye software ...tu sale mujh jaise microsoft office se muqabla karna chahta hai......abhi tere ko kharcha-pani dena hi padeka.....CLICK DABAKE
now tapori members of UPS DADA speak.....
KASPERSKY ANTIVIRUS: are dada tum OK Click karo to abhi ke abhi isko repair kar dalunga......
HATELA LAPTOP : dada tum bolo to isko shutdown kar dalunga......
UPS DADA: (speaking to the members) are tum log thoda standby hojao.......(speaking to CHOTA DRIVE)dekha USB port chatnewale....mere pass kitne antivirus hain....Kaspersky, Norton, avast...CLICK DABAKE.....or tere pass...
CHOTA DRIVE: are to kya hua.....mere pass Ashampoo Antivirus hai..
UPS DADA and his members laughing.......
UPS DADA: hahaha.....sale tu to softwares ke naam pe dhabba hai.....(speaking to nero 7)aye nero 7, is DVD ko burn kar daal....
nero 7: haan dada.....sala chota drive ko burn kardunga woh bhi multisession ke sath taki sali koi kasar baki rahe jaye to bad mein isko aur burn karunga..hahahaha..
UPS DADA: chal theek hai bidu.....tere ko aur tere doosre pop-ups ko yahan allow karta hoon.....CLICK DABAKE
CHOTA DRIVE: (immediately starting to massage UPS DADA's legs)...dada aap to mere guru ho.......aur mere ko thodi problem hai......
UPS DADA: kya problem hai......bolna CLICK DABAKE
CHOTA DRIVE: apun ka.....mmmm.....apunka pendrive bahut chota hai..ise bada kaise kare..(interuppted inbetween by dada)
UPS DADA: (pushing chota drive)...abey sale door hat.......tune kya isko kya bahut accha forum samjha hai kya jo apni personal problems yahan solve karaega........chal logoff hoja yahan se nahin to shutdown kardalonga.....CLICK DABAKE
Thursday, July 31, 2008
100 KeyBoard Shortcuts
One Hundred Key Board Shortcuts
CTRL+C (Copy)
CTRL+X (Cut)
CTRL+V (Paste)
CTRL+Z (Undo)
DELETE (Delete)
SHIFT+DELETE (Delete the selected item permanently without placing the item
in the Recycle Bin)
CTRL while dragging an item (Copy the selected item)
CTRL+SHIFT while dragging an item (Create a shortcut to the selected item)
F2 key (Rename the selected item)
CTRL+RIGHT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next
word)
CTRL+LEFT ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous
word)
CTRL+DOWN ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the next
paragraph)
CTRL+UP ARROW (Move the insertion point to the beginning of the previous
paragraph)
CTRL+SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Highlight a block of text)
SHIFT with any of the arrow keys (Select more than one item in a window or
on the desktop, or select text in a document)
CTRL+A (Select all)
F3 key (Search for a file or a folder)
ALT+ENTER (View the properties for the selected item)
ALT+F4 (Close the active item, or quit the active program)
ALT+ENTER (Display the properties of the selected object)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Open the shortcut menu for the active window)
CTRL+F4 (Close the active document in programs that enable you to have
multiple documents open simultaneously)
ALT+TAB (Switch between the open items)
ALT+ESC (Cycle through items in the order that they had been opened)
F6 key (Cycle through the screen elements in a window or on the desktop)
F4 key (Display the Address bar list in My Computer or Windows Explorer)
SHIFT+F10 (Display the shortcut menu for the selected item)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the System menu for the active window)
CTRL+ESC (Display the Start menu)
ALT+Underlined letter in a menu name (Display the corresponding menu)
Underlined letter in a command name on an open menu (Perform the
corresponding command)
F10 key (Activate the menu bar in the active program)
RIGHT ARROW (Open the next menu to the right, or open a submenu)
LEFT ARROW (Open the next menu to the left, or close a submenu)
F5 key (Update the active window)
BACKSPACE (View the folder one level up in My Computer or Windows Explorer)
ESC (Cancel the current task)
SHIFT when you insert a CD-ROM into the CD-ROM drive (Prevent the CD-ROM
from automatically playing)
Dialog Box Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+TAB (Move forward through the tabs)
CTRL+SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the tabs)
TAB (Move forward through the options)
SHIFT+TAB (Move backward through the options)
ALT+Underlined letter (Perform the corresponding command or select the
corresponding option)
ENTER (Perform the command for the active option or button)
SPACEBAR (Select or clear the check box if the active option is a check box)
Arrow keys (Select a button if the active option is a group of option
buttons)
F1 key (Display Help)
F4 key (Display the items in the active list)
BACKSPACE (Open a folder one level up if a folder is selected in the Save
As or Open dialog box)
Micro$oft Natural Keyboard Shortcuts
Windows Logo (Display or hide the Start menu)
Windows Logo+BREAK (Display the System Properties dialog box)
Windows Logo+D (Display the desktop)
Windows Logo+M (Minimize all of the windows)
Windows Logo+SHIFT+M (Restore the minimized windows)
Windows Logo+E (Open My Computer)
Windows Logo+F (Search for a file or a folder)
CTRL+Windows Logo+F (Search for computers)
Windows Logo+F1 (Display Windows Help)
Windows Logo+ L (Lock the keyboard)
Windows Logo+R (Open the Run dialog box)
Windows Logo+U (Open Utility Manager)
Accessibility Keyboard Shortcuts
Right SHIFT for eight seconds (Switch FilterKeys either on or off)
Left ALT+left SHIFT+PRINT SCREEN (Switch High Contrast either on or off)
Left ALT+left SHIFT+NUM LOCK (Switch the MouseKeys either on or off)
SHIFT five times (Switch the StickyKeys either on or off)
NUM LOCK for five seconds (Switch the ToggleKeys either on or off)
Windows Logo +U (Open Utility Manager)
Windows Explorer Keyboard Shortcuts
END (Display the bottom of the active window)
HOME (Display the top of the active window)
NUM LOCK+Asterisk sign (*) (Display all of the subfolders that are under
the selected folder)
NUM LOCK+Plus sign (+) (Display the contents of the selected folder)
NUM LOCK+Minus sign (-) (Collapse the selected folder)
LEFT ARROW (Collapse the current selection if it is expanded, or select the
parent folder)
RIGHT ARROW (Display the current selection if it is collapsed, or select
the first subfolder)
Shortcut Keys for Character Map
After you double-click a character on the grid of characters, you can move
through the grid by using the keyboard shortcuts:
RIGHT ARROW (Move to the right or to the beginning of the next line)
LEFT ARROW (Move to the left or to the end of the previous line)
UP ARROW (Move up one row)
DOWN ARROW (Move down one row)
PAGE UP (Move up one screen at a time)
PAGE DOWN (Move down one screen at a time)
HOME (Move to the beginning of the line)
END (Move to the end of the line)
CTRL+HOME (Move to the first character)
CTRL+END (Move to the last character)
SPACEBAR (Switch between Enlarged and Normal mode when a character is
selected)
Micro$oft Management Console (MMC) Main Window Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+O (Open a saved console)
CTRL+N (Open a new console)
CTRL+S (Save the open console)
CTRL+M (Add or remove a console item)
CTRL+W (Open a new window)
F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
ALT+SPACEBAR (Display the MMC window menu)
ALT+F4 (Close the console)
ALT+A (Display the Action menu)
ALT+V (Display the View menu)
ALT+F (Display the File menu)
ALT+O (Display the Favorites menu)
MMC Console Window Keyboard Shortcuts
CTRL+P (Print the current page or active pane)
ALT+Minus sign (-) (Display the window menu for the active console window)
SHIFT+F10 (Display the Action shortcut menu for the selected item)
F1 key (Open the Help topic, if any, for the selected item)
F5 key (Update the content of all console windows)
CTRL+F10 (Maximize the active console window)
CTRL+F5 (Restore the active console window)
ALT+ENTER (Display the Properties dialog box, if any, for the selected
item)
F2 key (Rename the selected item)
CTRL+F4 (Close the active console window. When a console has only one
console window, this shortcut closes the console)
Remote Desktop Connection Navigation
CTRL+ALT+END (Open the m*cro$oft Windows NT Security dialog box)
ALT+PAGE UP (Switch between programs from left to right)
ALT+PAGE DOWN (Switch between programs from right to left)
ALT+INSERT (Cycle through the programs in most recently used order)
ALT+HOME (Display the Start menu)
CTRL+ALT+BREAK (Switch the client computer between a window and a full
screen)
ALT+DELETE (Display the Windows menu)
CTRL+ALT+Minus sign (-) (Place a snapshot of the active window in the
client on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality
as pressing PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)
CTRL+ALT+Plus sign (+) (Place a snapshot of the entire client window area
on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality as
pressing ALT+PRINT SCREEN on a local computer.)
Micro$oft Internet Explorer Navigation
CTRL+B (Open the Organize Favorites dialog box)
CTRL+E (Open the Search bar)
CTRL+F (Start the Find utility)
CTRL+H (Open the History bar)
CTRL+I (Open the Favorites bar)
CTRL+L (Open the Open dialog box)
CTRL+N (Start another instance of the browser with the same Web address)
CTRL+O (Open the Open dialog box, the same as CTRL+L)
CTRL+P (Open the Print dialog box)
CTRL+R (Update the current Web page)
